“Our families need to ask for the gift of the Spirit! Through prayer, even in the busiest times, we give time back to God, we find the peace that comes from appreciating the important things, and we encounter the joy of God’s unexpected gifts. Through daily prayer may our homes become, like the house of Martha and Mary, places where Jesus always finds a warm welcome (Pope Francis).” While it is necessary to attend to the details of hospitality, learning how to be present to people, experiences, and God is sometimes more important. Creating homes that are welcoming environments requires not only organization and structure but members who truly enjoy being there and celebrating life with one another.
Details can often get the best of us. While attending to details is important to success, our obsession with them can be problematic. Whether wanting to make a good impression, fear of failure, insecurity, or emotional immaturity, throwing ourselves into the “details” of hospitality can distract us from being present to those we want to serve. Conversely, focusing exclusively on being present without any attention to detail also sets our attempts at hospitality up for disaster! We need a balance of both. But creating a truly welcoming space in our homes and within ourselves requires still more.
We have to be empty of ourselves. Becoming a welcoming, hospitable person is not possible in someone focused on their own needs and desires. If the one we serve is the one who looks back at us in the mirror, then there is no space for anyone else. While Martha and Mary had different ideas of what it means to serve, they both had the inner space and freedom to do so. They were detached from themselves. Detachment becomes the challenge to hospitality and creating a God-centered, open-hearted space in our lives. When we impulsively act out of our personal agendas, violence, abuse, pride, greed, lust, power, control, passion, and self-aggrandizement encroach upon the space needed to be present to another human being. Not only can others not find a home in us, but even God cannot find a home in us!